Digital Commando

[Verse]
I was absent at the Orca sprint,
The calendar said: "ghosting hint!"
And I was sleeping in the depths of logs,
Without moving from Commando.

Instead of tickets and story points,
I had a migration from nine joints,
And somewhere someone shouted: "prod crashed!"
So I made myself a support-bot.
  
[Chorus]
Because I sat on Commando,
Where SQLs dance in tango,
I fixed databases to the rhythm of stress,
And searched for carrots... in the press logs.

I wasn't there, but I was everywhere,
Where alerts howl in exaggeration faster,
Instead of stand-up – a deadlock in the database,
And a vegetable quest... in the digital landscape.

Orca was doing sprints of sprints,
I debugged a world without hints.
Was the carrot in the schema?
I don't know, in a trigger? In some crowded cache?
Merge requests – they haunted me at night,
When indexes burned with silent power.
No commit, no push – just a rescue plan,
So the database could talk again.

[Verse]
Because I sat on Commando,
With Jira, pings, and a slight paranoia,
Fixing the world in the silence of DevOps,
And searching for the carrot like Indiana in chaos.
So if you ask: "where were you, why aren't you here?"
Know that somewhere in the console – I wrote my CVE.
And though I wasn't at sprint planning,
The database lives... thanks to me.